Thursday, August 27, 2009

Today, I feel sick.

Today, I feel sick-
not the kind of sickness that attacks our physical bodies.
A far worse kind.
Today, I feel sick in my soul.
In my spirit.
To borrow some lyrics from one of my favorite bands of all time,
"I struggle with forward motion."
To borrow some words from Paul in the New Testament,
"The trouble is with me...for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate...I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway."
[Romans 7: 14-19. New Living Translation]
Those who have much background or experience at all with a church or Christianity have probably heard this Scripture quoted many times.
It's nothing new.
It's nothing I haven't heard at least a hundred times growing up in a church.
Despite this Scripture's popularity, there is something so poignant about it, isn't there?
Paul hit the nail right on the head. I love how he boldly states,
"The trouble is with me..."
Paul, the same man who was once Saul- a killer of Christians and persecutor of the early Church who was transformed by the power of Jesus into a walking, living, breathing testimony of God's redemption, states somewhat emphatically,
the problem is me!
The problem is me.
After all, the problem never was with God, was it?
The problem always has been me.
How painful to type.
More painful still, the reality and the Truth that this sin that lives within me and the inadequacies that stare me so boldly in the face
are the same iniquities that nailed Him to a tree.
There are countless Scriptures I find comfort in that remind me that God is not finished with me yet. He does not leave me nor forsake me.
He casts my sin as far as the east is from the west and chooses to remember it no more.
His mercies are new every morning.
It was not I who loved Him first or chose Him, but He loved me first and He chose me-not because of my righteousness, because I had none.
I am suppose to forget about the past and look forward to what is ahead.
. . .
But for these brief moments, it is a time to mourn my sin.
and to celebrate His death-
for by His death I get to crucify all my insufficiencies.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Great Last First Day

[Sometimes you need streamers and balloons to celebrate the first day of school.]

Today was my last first day of my undergraduate career at Baylor University.
Say what?
[Freshman Homecoming circa 2005.]

How the time flies.

[...when we were merely freshmen.]

I met this day with some nervousness, some sadness, some excitement, a reminiscent heart...
but mostly with joy.

I get to walk on this great campus for one more semester.
This means I get to wink at Judge Baylor, sit under the giant shade trees, see friends while walking to class, drink a Dr. Pepper float at Dr. Pepper hour, work out at the SLC, walk the bear trail....etc., etc.

all for one more semester.
[Giving Judge Baylor a smooch.]

I'm a lucky girl.

Of course, it didn't hurt that the sweetest boy in the world gave me a "Have a great first day of school!" survival kit either :)

[That's right. I got my favorite chap stick, cute folders, a new thermos and sandwich holder, crayons, pens, and delicious snacks to start my first day :) ]

This will be a great semester.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I'm a hustler, baby.

Play poker, beat all the boys, and win the game.

I couldn't have done it without my novio.
He is a great teacher.

This is not a love story. This is a story about love.

500 Days of Summer:
Go see this movie.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the cutest.
I want to steal everything from Zooey Deschanel's closet.

Dear Nashville. . .

Dear Nashville,
Thank you for letting me enjoy your beauty this past week.
Thanks for letting me spend quality time with my best friend.

Thanks for wine and a picnic in Centennial Park.

Thanks for photo shoots downtown.

...and yummy cappuccinos.

...and great live music.
...and delicious dinners that remind me of being in Italy.

I will miss you, Nashville.
I'll be seeing you soon.