Come walk with me...

so proud

2010-05-18T09:56:00.000-05:00

I will skip my usual intro about how I am a terrible blogger and cut straight to the chase! Lucky you :)

My dear college friend, Katie, is an amazingly talented person.

She is creative, crafty, silly, thoughtful, considerate, genuine, a great cook, wife and hostess!

It is of no surprise to me that she is also a fabulous photographer and graphic designer.

Check out here brand new website here!

Katie, I am so proud of you.

God has given you an artistic, creative, compassionate heart for His world and His people.

You are and already have done the wonderful work of capturing His beauty in others and in creation.

You are loved, pretty sister :)

So, you want to be a missionary, huh?

2010-04-14T19:16:00.003-05:00

Forgive me for my absence in the blogging world lately. I tell myself continually that blogging "just isn't my thing." I can't seem to stay with it! However, I am forcing myself [literally] to sit down and write this blog entry. Not because people are dying to read anything I write. Although, I am thankful for the slim few people who do read this silly thing :) I am writing this post to preserve these thoughts, ideas and feelings swirling around in my head.

A dear friend shared this blog with me today. I cannot stop reading it for the life of me! Warning- if you have any interest, concern, or heart for missions, the poor, or the gospel of Jesus Christ whatsoever- you will most likely be addicted to reading this incredible woman's journey in Uganda.

Reading this amazing woman's story in blog format has come at quite an interesting time for me. To make a very long and complicated story as short as possible, I love missions. Specifically, I love Kenya. God began to open my eyes to Africa in the 9th grade. I remember it clearly. All of a sudden, I was doing research on this continent that I was becoming enthralled with. It wasn't for a school assignment; no one was forcing me to learn about Africa. Furthermore, when I was in the 9th grade, Africa wasn't trendy. I just wanted to know about the people who lived there because I loved them. I loved them in a pure, real way that could never come from the selfish, depraved person I am apart from Christ.

God so graciously and perfectly orchestrated my steps to Kenya on two separate summer trips. From those two trips, my heart was broken, filled with inexplicable JOY and changed for the rest of my life. Very recently, I have been talking to a few close friends about redefining this passion God stirred in my heart so many years ago. It is not at all that this passion has dwindled. In fact, sometimes it feels stronger than ever. More exactly, it feels like a dull ache within my heart. An ache for the Kingdom to come in a corrupt and barren land.

This certain blog entry from this amazing woman, named Katie, was particularly inspiring, challenging, and heartbreaking to read. Katie talks about what she gave up to move to Uganda, adopt her once-orphaned children, and change her life forever.

"So, you want to be a missionary, huh?"

Katie talked about counting the cost of the cross of Christ. I hope you'll read her post. She eloquently puts into words what I've been asking my heart for a long time. More importantly, what Jesus has been asking my heart. It's easy to look at missions and think it's for the "elite Christian" or maybe even the "fanatical Christian." I won't get on my soapbox about missions, don't worry. And I'm not at all saying every Believer must sell everything they own and move to a third world country to live forevermore.

My desire is to be accountable to the One I'm following, to trust His word and spend my life on the least of these until there is nothing left of me to give. I want to count the cost. I don't want Jesus to look at me and say, "I was hungry, but you didn't feed me. I was thirsty, but you didn't offer me a drink. I was naked, and you didn't clothe me."

Please pray for my heart as I try to diligently seek out God's desire for me.

You are stronger

2010-04-11T19:26:00.000-05:00

There is Love that came for us

humbled to a sinner's cross

You broke my shame and sinfulness

You rose again victorious

Faithfulness none can deny

through the storm and through the fire

there is Truth that sets me free

Jesus Christ who lives in me

You are stronger; You are stronger!

Sin is broken

You have saved me

It is written, Christ is risen

Jesus, You are LORD of all

No beginning and no end

You're my hope and my defense

You came to seek and save the lost

You paid it all upon the cross

So let Your name be lifted higher

be lifted higher

[Stronger- Hillsong United]

It's been a long time coming...

2010-03-10T19:01:00.000-06:00

Let's not discuss how long it's been since Valentine's Day :)

Here are some [belated] pics of my love-day celebration.

[cookies before]

[cookies after]

[I wrote each line of a poem on these cute heart doilies]

[yummy heart-shaped brownies]

[We made shrimp linguine...delicious!]

[My beautiful Valentine's flowers]

I know I'm a month late, but I still like Valentine's Day :)

let your love grow tall

2010-02-09T16:02:00.001-06:00

I'm a sucker for anything that let's me celebrate love.

Combine getting to celebrate love with giving me a reason to bake/eat something yummy, and I'll all for it.

Despite varying opinions on this holiday, I like Valentine's Day.

There. I said it :)

{ via Martha Stewart }

The truth is, whether I had a 'significant other' or not, I've always liked Valentine's Day.

I understand, though, that some despise the holiday, think it is silly, think it is a lame marketing ploy for the American public, and think we should celebrate love every day, not just on Valentine's Day.

Well, I can agree with the very last thing- I do think Love should be celebrated every day, in both little and big ways.

I feel inspired this Valentine's Day to not only show a significant other I love them, but to show all the dear and important people in my life I love them.

Remember in elementary school when we all received Valentine's cards from all the kids in our class?At my school, we each made and decorated our own Valentine's bag each year.We all anxiously awaited to open our bags, read all of our cards, and eat our candy. I think we could all use a little more elementary school-style gifts of love these days.

{ via Martha Stewart }

{ via Martha Stewart }

I'm feeling inspired to let my love grow tall this February 14th (and every other day, too).

How will you be letting your love grow tall?

better late than never

2010-02-09T15:30:00.001-06:00

Finally sitting down to blog once again.
I quickly get in and out of the habit of blogging, thus explaining my sporadic posts.

This post will be dedicated to flinging my green and gold afar.

If you are not familiar with this term, do not fear. It just means you are not a Baylor graduate.

That good old Baylor line! That good old Baylor line! We'll march forever down the years, as long as stars shall shine. We'll fling our green and gold afar to light the ways of time, and guide us as we onward go; that good old Baylor line.

I did something in December of 2009...

I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!

Sometimes I feel silly about being so excited about it (still).

Then I remember all the sacrifices people, namely my parents, made for me to go to the college of my dreams.

I think of all the tests I took, projects I finished, papers I wrote, the capstone I slaved over and defended.

I remember the fact that I am one of only 1% of the entire world who was fortunate enough to receive a college education...

ONLY 1% of the world's population has a college education! Really?! That is incredible.

Then I don't feel so silly for being excited (still) and so grateful for this opportunity.

If you have a college education, Praise and thank God for it.

I don't know where I'll be flinging my green and gold quite yet,

but I'm excited at the thought of taking all I learned at my great university wherever I go.

Love never fails you

2010-01-17T23:22:00.003-06:00

Love is not proud

Love does not boast

Love, after all, matters the most

Love does not run

Love does not hide

Love does not keep locked inside

Love is the river that flows through

Love never fails you

Love will sustain

Love will provide

Love will not cease at the end of time

Love will protect

Love always hopes

Love still believes when you don't

Love is the arms that are holding you

Love never fails you

Love is right here

Love is alive

Love is The Way, The Truth, The Life

Love never fails you

{Love Never Fails You, Brandon Heath}

pressed but not crushed

2010-01-15T23:13:00.002-06:00

Two dear friends, Ben and Katie Kilpatrick, are currently serving in Haiti.

Please read their blog and pray for them.
Pray for restoration, healing, and the fullness of God's peace over the entire nation of Haiti.

My heart is heavy, saddened, humbled and confused-
but not without Hope.

"We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies."

2nd Corinthians 4:8-10

"Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later."

Romans 8:18

"Jesus didn’t die to save us from suffering - He died to teach us how to suffer."

Mev Puleo

{via Katie}

"If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together."

Lilla Watson, Aboriginal elder

{via Katie}

tumors and testimonies

2009-12-07T11:53:00.002-06:00

Undoubtedly, those of you familiar with The Village Church in Dallas have heard about lead pastor Matt Chandler's recent surgery to remove a tumor from his frontal lobe on Friday.

I don't have adequate words to say, nor do I even feel entitled to say anything at all concerning this matter- other than I am praying and will continue to pray for God's healing, His peace, and His purpose to be revealed through this trial.

A video of Matt before he entered surgery was particularly challenging and encouraging for me to watch.

Watch the video. Pray. Be encouraged that God is enough.

Video from Matt

Dear I-35

2009-12-06T19:50:00.000-06:00

Dear I-35...

the fog and the cold

bright lights and the road

city limit signs

120 miles

on the long stretch of I-35

too much time to think

distance and space

that keep me away

for six long days

on the long stretch of I-35

tears fall fast

24 hours didn't last

can't wait to get back

to smile and laugh, then do it over again

on the long stretch of I-35

this & that

2009-11-26T22:42:00.000-06:00

this & that - a random post of current events

It's funny how four long, hard years of social work can fit on one tiny CD. Nonetheless, I FINISHED my senior capstone portfolio!!! :) Praise the Lord. Now, all I have to do is defend it in front of my panel.

No big deal.

I love making gingerbread men. This guy looks a little silly, but he sure did taste yummy. He definitely got me excited for Christmas baking, too!

I got to party with my favorite one year old. Happy Birthday, Reese Elaine! Check out that tutu...so adorable :)

Happy Friendsgiving! Papa Ben carved some delicious turkey for everyone and all my friends were quite impressive with their special dishes. Very thankful.

Sic 'em, bears!

3-D movies are too fun.

I suggest going to see the new A Christmas Carol. The animation is amazing in 3-D!

If you can see it with a cute boy, I hear it makes the movie even better ;)

Worst Blogger Ever... and other random thoughts

2009-11-18T21:08:00.000-06:00

I've definitely been neglecting the blogosphere (yes, I said 'blogosphere') for some time now.

I've avoided blogging for a few reasons. Mostly due to a sincere lack of time to sit down and write something other than a paper for social work or english or history or...whatever.

I've also been avoiding blogging because I've felt I've just had so much to say and have been wrestling with so many big thoughts these days that it has almost been immobilizing.

I'm craving community.

Two of my best friends in the world are overseas right now. Many of my other dear friends have graduated and moved away. I find myself once again writing about this strange transition time I am in, the same one so many of my friends are going through.

It's good to know I am not alone in this.

In some ways, it feels as if my life is waiting to begin - almost as if I am being left behind in a sense while others continue on their brave and adventurous journeys.

I know that is not the Truth - just a lingering feeling.

I realize my life is happening right now. My brave and adventurous journey is here, for now.

So, what am I going to do with it?

What are you going to do with it?

And what are we working towards?

Many thoughts and questions I've been pondering these days.

In the meantime, God is constantly overwhelming me with His kindness and goodness to me.

Life, although a perpetual mystery, is sweet and I am blessed far beyond what I deserve.

What do I know?

2009-11-02T16:37:00.003-06:00

I made You promises a thousand times.

I tried to hear from heaven, but I talked the whole time.

I think I made You too small. I never feared You at all.

If You touched my face, would I know You?

Looked into my eyes, could I behold You?

What do I know of You who spoke me into motion?

Where have I even stood, but the shore along Your ocean?

Are You fire? Are You fury?

Are you sacred? Are You beautiful?

What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

[What do I know of Holy? - Addison Road]

Just what I needed

2009-10-21T20:18:00.000-05:00

I had just the weekend I needed

and wouldn't you know, I forgot my camera and have no pictures to show for it.

After a long and stressful school week,

[3 midterms, 6 (yes, SIX) papers, lots of social work endeveors, and very little sleep]

I was in definite need of some rejuvination.

I escaped to Dallas to spend time with my precious novio and my favorite cousin.

I enjoyed lots of sleep, good conversation, a sunset and a homemade meal,

lunch at Studio Grill while watching Where the Wild Things Are (so good!!),

delicious french toast at Cafe Brazil, good friends and great community at church.

A breath of fresh air.

Just what I needed to tackle this week before

joyous Homecoming weekend at Baylor :)

Jim and Pam forever.

2009-10-13T10:19:00.000-05:00

Jim and Pam . . .

forever :)

This episode truly made my heart happy and made me smile from ear to ear.

The world needs more love like Jim and Pam's.

my dad

2009-10-09T11:40:00.001-05:00

Gerald Thomas Beck...

my dad.
If you know me well, you know the special relationship I have with my dad.

He is a prayer warrior. A faithful follower. A loving and gentle dad.

Among so many things my dad has taught me, he has shown me

boldness.

Boldness to serve, boldness to love, boldness to give and to share.

Mostly, the boldness to look beyond myself and to see the world.

This boldness has really got me thinking these days.

Isaiah 58-

A tough chapter to read.

Through Isaiah, God reveals His frustration for about 6 verses with the people of Israel.

He asks them why they act so pious. Why do they go to the Temple and seem so delighted to learn about Him, act as though they are righteous, and continue fasting when they are still fighting among themselves, oppressing their workers, and bragging about their fasting?

Yeah! Stupid Israelites. How dare you?! Right?!

No. I am the Israelite in this passage.

Me.

And maybe you are too? I don't know.

God says this is what He desires from us...

"No, this is the kind of fasting I want: Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free and remove the chains that bind people. Share your food with the hungry and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them...

Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal...

Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble.

Then your Light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon.

The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry, and restoring your strength.

You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring."

[Isaiah 58:6-11, New Living Translation]

Feed the hungry. Shelter the homeless. Free the captives.
Then our Light will shine and we will be like an ever-flowing spring.

That is our gospel.

mmmmmm.

. . .

2009-10-05T17:30:00.000-05:00

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;

therefore He will rise up to show you compassion.

For the LORD is a God of justice.

Blessed are all those who wait for Him.

People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more.

How gracious He will be when you cry for help.

As soon as He hears, He will answer you.

Although the LORD gives you bread of adversity and the water of affliction,

Your teacher will be hidden no more;

with your own eyes you will see Him.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left,

your ears will hear a voice behind you saying,

"This is the way; walk in it."

[Isaiah 30:18-21]

this girl is good

2009-10-01T23:33:00.001-05:00

I have unanswered prayers.

I have trouble I wish wasn't there.

and I have asked a thousand ways

that You would take my pain away.

I am trying to understand

how to walk this weary land.

Make straight the paths that crooked lie

Oh Lord, before these feet of mine.

When my world is shaking,

Heaven stands.

When my heart is breaking,

I never leave Your hands.

When You walked upon the Earth,

You healed the broken, lost, and hurt.

I know You hate to see me cry.

One day You will set all things right.

Your hands that shape the world are holding me.

They hold me still.

[J.J. Heller - Your Hands]

check this girl out.

sweet.little.blessings.

2009-09-29T18:50:00.005-05:00

"My eyes are small, but they have seen the beauty of enormous things, which leads me to believe - there's Light enough to see that You make everything glorious."

[David Crowder Band]

. . .

Days will be difficult,

but in the midst of difficulty

. . .

I know there are beautiful sunsets.

I'm thankful for unexpected, little blessings and people to share them with.

I need to embrace these sweet little blessings with more zest.

Beauty is everywhere and God is a faithful provider.

a tandem bike

2009-09-28T11:24:00.000-05:00

Several weeks ago, I heard a sermon in which the pastor related our relationship with God to riding a tandem bike.

"A tandem bike? Really?"

... I thought to myself.

. . .

The pastor went on to explain-

We are on this journey with God. He designed it so that He would lead and we would follow. For the sake of the pastor's analogy, God would be directing the bike, steering it, and guiding it in the direction it should go. Our role as the follower isn't to merely do nothing. We must first be on the bike-having a relationship with God.

And we must peddle.

To where?

Most of the time, we may not see where we are peddling to.

So we must trust.

We have to choose to trust in the One steering the bike-trust that He is good, trust that He is faithful, and trust that where He is taking us is actually the place we should be-even if we can't see that place yet or even if that place is unfamiliar.

. . .

I confess that most of the time, I choose to ride my own bike.

This bike doesn't even have a seat for God.

It only has room for me.

So, this bike just takes me where I think I need to go,

which is usually never where I really need to be.
. . .

I tend to be very weary and cynical when I hear cliche sayings such as these, "Your relationship with God is like riding a tandem bike."

These phrases tend to annoy me. Someone can't equate all the complexity of my relationship with God to a silly analogy.

However, there was something about the particular delivery of this analogy that has stayed with me for weeks.

Jesus spoke and taught in parables.

We are too dull and our mind's far too finite to understand the complex Truths and mystery of God. Isn't it amazing and so gracious for God to use this analogy- the idea of a tandem bike- something so simple, to teach an important Truth to a stubborn and selfish person like me.

nobody said it was easy

2009-09-22T23:16:00.002-05:00

Come up to meet You, tell You I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are.

I had to find You, tell You I need You.

Tell You I set You apart.

Tell me Your secrets, ask me Your questions.

Oh, let's go back to the start

. . .

Nobody said it was easy.

No one ever said it would be this hard.

Take me back to the start.

[the scientist-coldplay]

thanks, Ralph

2009-09-16T15:45:00.001-05:00

"Finish each day and be done with it.

You have done what you could;

some blunders and absurdities have crept in;

forget them as soon as you can.

Tomorrow is a new day;

you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit

to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The last 48 hours of my life have been a little...stressful, to say the least. However, when I lay my head down on my pillow tonight, (more like early morning) I must remember- I have done what I could, despite some 'blunders' and 'absurdities' along the way. I must forget them as soon as I can because...tomorrow is a new day!

Sometimes, it's hard for me to let go of my mistakes and imperfections. Sometimes, I want to hold on to them tightly and cling to them, analyzing them over and over. I take them with me to bed at night. They lay there with me and are heavy upon my chest.

There is no joy in that, certainly no peace. So tonight, I must let those blunders roll off my shoulders. I must remember God's mercies are new every morning. He gives strength and refreshment to weary and tired bones. I'm grateful for that.

Thanks, Ralph. You were a pretty smart dude.

just to brighten your day

2009-09-14T21:40:00.009-05:00

If this sweet little darling, Elli Kate, doesn't brighten your day...

I don't know what will.

I hope you smile as much as I did when I saw these amazing photos.

Happy Monday!

The fabulous photographer responsible for these great photos is Dominique Lamontagne Harmon. Visit her at captivatedimages.com to see her other work.

my friends are coming back

2009-09-13T16:53:00.004-05:00

My friends are returning for a new season.

Just a few more days...

and I am very, very excited.

Tight-Rope Walking

2009-09-11T23:55:00.006-05:00

What is it that makes a relationship functional?

What makes it healthy, stable, reputable?

What makes a relationship...good?

Undoubtedly, a lot of things.

Mainly..,

Balance.

I think relationships are carefully crafted acts of balance.

Right now, I'm trying to tightrope walk

and it's harder than I thought it would be.

Amini...BELIEVE.

2009-09-10T13:57:00.003-05:00

Amini.

In Swahili, this word means believe.

I got talk to one of my best friends in the world today, Sarah. Currently, Sat Pack [as we like to call her] is serving in Nairobi, Kenya as an intern with a church called City Harvest. Sat Pack and I were able to talk on Skype [such a lovely invention] and I even got to see her face because she has a web cam! I know I sound like technology baffles me sometimes, but that's because

technology baffles me sometimes.

Kenya is always on my heart, but after talking to Sarah today, I went back and looked at all of my pictures from trips past

and I cried...mostly tears of joy, but several tears of missing dear friends.

Below is a picture I took about two years ago. This picture is nothing too exciting, riveting, or heart-wrenching. It's really quite simple. However, I love it just the same. This mural of the Lord's Prayer is painted in an alleyway next to a school in a slum called Kariowa in Nairobi.

A prayer-

Our Father, who is in Heaven

Your name is to be praised, Your kingdom come

Your will be done on earth like in Heaven

Give us today our daily bread

Forgive us our mistakes like

like we forgive others who sin against us

Do not carry us into temptation, but rescue us

from evil.

Amen.

Amini. Believe.

I believe. Help me with my unbelief.

So Emo.

2009-09-09T21:15:00.008-05:00

We are so emo...

Although I didn't have an 'emo day' at all today,

and actually had a great day,

these pictures make me smile and I hope they make you smile too.

Your Love is Strong

2009-09-08T18:47:00.004-05:00

Your love is strong.

It is far-reaching.

It is more patient than I deserve or will ever be able to understand.

Your love is relentless.

It does not give up on me.

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand it's own way. It is not irritable and keeps no record of being wronged.

It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the Truth wins out.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

[1st Corinthians 13:4-7, NLT]

"This is real love - not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His son as a sacrifice to take away our sins."

[1st John 4:10, NLT]

Today, I feel sick.

2009-08-27T16:30:00.009-05:00

Today, I feel sick-

not the kind of sickness that attacks our physical bodies.

A far worse kind.

Today, I feel sick in my soul.

In my spirit.

To borrow some lyrics from one of my favorite bands of all time,

"I struggle with forward motion."

To borrow some words from Paul in the New Testament,

"The trouble is with me...for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate...I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway."

[Romans 7: 14-19. New Living Translation]

Those who have much background or experience at all with a church or Christianity have probably heard this Scripture quoted many times.

It's nothing new.

It's nothing I haven't heard at least a hundred times growing up in a church.

Despite this Scripture's popularity, there is something so poignant about it, isn't there?

Paul hit the nail right on the head. I love how he boldly states,

"The trouble is with me..."

Paul, the same man who was once Saul- a killer of Christians and persecutor of the early Church who was transformed by the power of Jesus into a walking, living, breathing testimony of God's redemption, states somewhat emphatically,

the problem is me!

The problem is me.

After all, the problem never was with God, was it?

The problem always has been me.

How painful to type.

More painful still, the reality and the Truth that this sin that lives within me and the inadequacies that stare me so boldly in the face

are the same iniquities that nailed Him to a tree.

Heart-wrenching.

There are countless Scriptures I find comfort in that remind me that God is not finished with me yet. He does not leave me nor forsake me.

He casts my sin as far as the east is from the west and chooses to remember it no more.

His mercies are new every morning.

It was not I who loved Him first or chose Him, but He loved me first and He chose me-not because of my righteousness, because I had none.

I am suppose to forget about the past and look forward to what is ahead.

. . .

But for these brief moments, it is a time to mourn my sin.

and to celebrate His death-

for by His death I get to crucify all my insufficiencies.

Great Last First Day

2009-08-24T11:40:00.015-05:00

[Sometimes you need streamers and balloons to celebrate the first day of school.]

Today was my last first day of my undergraduate career at Baylor University.
Say what?
[Freshman Homecoming circa 2005.]

How the time flies.

[...when we were merely freshmen.]

I met this day with some nervousness, some sadness, some excitement, a reminiscent heart...

but mostly with joy.

I get to walk on this great campus for one more semester.

This means I get to wink at Judge Baylor, sit under the giant shade trees, see friends while walking to class, drink a Dr. Pepper float at Dr. Pepper hour, work out at the SLC, walk the bear trail....etc., etc.

all for one more semester.

[Giving Judge Baylor a smooch.]

I'm a lucky girl.

Of course, it didn't hurt that the sweetest boy in the world gave me a "Have a great first day of school!" survival kit either :)

[That's right. I got my favorite chap stick, cute folders, a new thermos and sandwich holder, crayons, pens, and delicious snacks to start my first day :) ]

This will be a great semester.

I'm a hustler, baby.

2009-08-06T17:11:00.004-05:00

Play poker, beat all the boys, and win the game.

Check.

I couldn't have done it without my novio.

He is a great teacher.

This is not a love story. This is a story about love.

2009-08-06T16:53:00.004-05:00

500 Days of Summer:

Go see this movie.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the cutest.

I want to steal everything from Zooey Deschanel's closet.

Dear Nashville. . .

2009-08-06T15:26:00.013-05:00

Dear Nashville,

Thank you for letting me enjoy your beauty this past week.

Thanks for letting me spend quality time with my best friend.

Thanks for wine and a picnic in Centennial Park.

Thanks for photo shoots downtown.

...and yummy cappuccinos.

...and great live music.

...and delicious dinners that remind me of being in Italy.

I will miss you, Nashville.

I'll be seeing you soon.

the light and the tunnel

2009-07-30T14:43:00.003-05:00

I don't know if you're in a tunnel.

If you are, don't lose heart.

There is light at the end.

I promise.

"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world..."

-John 3:19

The Journey(s)

2009-07-28T15:28:00.004-05:00

I've started a few new journeys over the past couple of weeks.

A new journey can be scary.

Not knowing what lies ahead can cause you to fear, worry, or

. . .

celebrate?

The unknown can push you, press on you, and test you. But test you to do what? I think it can push you to trust.

trust.

Trust.

TRUST!

Why is this small word so hard for us? Really, why is this small word so hard for me? I want to reach out and touch, feel, see with my own eyes the things I am putting my hope and trust in. Wouldn't that be so much easier, so much more simple?

"Those who know Your name will trust in You, for you, LORD, have never forsaken

those who seek You."

-Psalm 9:10

As I find it hard to trust, in the stillness of my heart I am reminded the One in whom I can put my trust. He loves fiercely. He loves me like a hurricane. . . a hurricane. Wow. This love He has for me can hold all of my hopes because He will never disappoint. He will never fail. He will never be late or early or inconsistent or deceiving. He will always be everything...everything I need Him to be. If I can't trust in that, I do not want to trust in anything at all.

So...

happy journey to you.

Speaking of lingering thoughts...

2009-07-23T16:32:00.002-05:00

Two blogs in one day. Whoa.

Some lingering thoughts I've had this summer can be summed up in the lyrics of this song:

He is jealous for me.

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree-

bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.

And I realize just how beautiful You are

and how great Your affections are for me.

and oh, how He loves us

oh, how He loves us so

how He loves us all.

We are His portion and He is our prize-

drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes.

If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.

So heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,

and my heart turns violently inside my chest.

I don't have time to maintain these regrets

when I think about the way

He loves us.

~How He Loves, David Crowder Band

How He loves us...it's too impossible to comprehend. I have felt so undeserving these days. Aren't we all undeserving, though? And isn't that the beauty of it all? We, undeserving creatures, are 'bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.' My human mind cannot even really begin to process this, but I am so thankful.

Long time, no blog

2009-07-23T16:22:00.002-05:00

Oh boy.

It's been a long time, eh?

So, I have this love/hate relationship with blogging at times. Most of the time, I love it. It let's me share thoughts that linger in my head and allows me to keep in touch with dear friends now spread across the U S of A.

Sometimes, I don't like it at all. I feel overwhelmed when I don't blog because I feel the need to play a game of catch up, which is never very fun.

However, I am pushing through my blogging-apathy because I want to continue to document this time in my life.

So, here is to continue this blogging journey. Gosh, I hope I get better at this.

there's still enough of the good stuff to go around

2009-05-10T12:39:00.007-05:00

After a week of many transitions, I needed to add some more little things to my happiness list.

After all, I believe you can never think of too many little things that make you

happy.

10. calls instead of text messages

9. lunar flow yoga

8. a summer sun-kissed glow

7. when someone scratches my back

6. dog eared pages in my favorite book

5. live music

4. Austin, TX

3. sweet old Italian men who walk the streets of Florence ever so slowly

2. a good listener / learning to be a good listener in return

1. being reminded that God's love is strong and real

The List.

2009-05-09T00:19:00.006-05:00

the list-

the happiness list.

[*borrowed from the rockstar diaries]

10 little things that make me happy:

10. my morning [afternoon, evening, anytime] cup of joe

9. roommate chats on our green porch swing

8. the smell of clean laundry

7. making my bed in the morning

6. the little kids i babysit and their giggles

5. headbands

4. words of encouragement

3. swahili

2. dancing [anytime, anywhere & lots of it]

1. chocolate chips

Dark Blue

2009-05-05T13:14:00.006-05:00

Graduating.

Everyone's doing it-

well, almost everyone.

I'll be here for another semester.

And being here, well, it's not a bad place to be.

It's actually a lovely place to be.

However, once this graduation thing happens...

most of the people who make this place what it is to me will be gone.

Some will be enjoying wedded bliss.

Some will be teaching in Spain, another will be serving in Kenya

and some will be starting Seminary.

We may all be in different cities, different states, and even on different continents in a few short weeks.

However, wherever we may go-

I'll take each of them with me.

I celebrate with them.

They did it! They made it!

And soon...I'll be a college grad, too.

Wow.

Just Keep Swimming

2009-04-28T22:39:00.002-05:00

a cute little fish once said,

"Just keep swimming..."

I can dig that :)

dia.del.oso

2009-04-24T21:39:00.005-05:00

Dia del Oso.

Translation (for those with limited Spanish proficiency): Day of the Bear.

...a long-standing Baylor tradition marked by a glorious day of no class and lots of fun activities on campus like tug of war, ultimate frisbee, volleyball, dunking booths, cotton candy, etc.

However, all the cool college kids rarely even make it to campus. They are too busy ruling 10th street with their own festivities...Dia del 10th, as we like to call it. There, you will find a slip 'n slide, a bounce house, basketball tournaments, and a sea of silly college kids celebrating the sunshine and springtime.

Oh Dia, I love you.

Sometimes, you just need to dance...

2009-04-20T17:37:00.008-05:00

Stress is inevitable.

I have been experiencing lots of it lately.

What's a girl to do?

Dance, of course.

Watch this video, sing along, dance your heart out...and relieve some stress :)

Endurance

2009-04-15T22:56:00.003-05:00

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."

~Kahlil Gibran

A Funeral and a New Life

2009-04-12T01:16:00.005-05:00

As I celebrate

[contemplate, ponder, consider, marvel]

Easter-

many emotions and thoughts are stirred up within me.

Today, I celebrate the death of Christ. With his death on the cross, Jesus paid for every sin and experienced the full wrath of God....for me. He has beaten, bruised, scarred, and crushed-that by His wounds, I would be healed. His innocent blood has washed my guilty life.

"He gave up His divine privileges;

He took the humble position of a slave

and was born as a human being.

When he appeared in human form,

he humbled himself in obedience to God

and died a criminal's death on a cross."

[Philippians 2:7-8]

Today, I also celebrate my own death.

"For I have been crucified with Christ,

and it is no longer I who live,

but Christ lives in me..."

[Galatians 2:20]

Today, my old self is dead. The old me died with Christ. Therefore, I am no longer a slave to my old ways. My sin can no longer master me. He gave me a way out.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ,

he is a new creation;

the old has passed away,

behold, all things are new!"

[2nd Cor. 5:17]

Today, I celebrate my own funeral. The death of my former self, who was nailed to the cross with Christ. Because I died with Him, I was also raised with Him to walk in a new life. He made this marvelous exchange.

He did something inconceivable.

He was pierced for my transgressions and my endless unrighteousness, so that when the Father looks at me-He doesn't condemn me. He now looks at me as His adopted child.

So, today I celebrate my funeral and my new life. I hope you're celebrating too. Happy Easter.

Twitter me this...

2009-04-08T01:11:00.007-05:00

Twitter.is.silly.

Follow me: Lauren_Madison.

la la la

2009-04-06T23:58:00.018-05:00

let's get outta here....

i'm gonna drive over hills

over mountains and canyons

and boys that keep bringing me down

i'm gonna drive under skyline and sunshine

drink good wine in vineyards

and get asked to dance

i'm gonna be carefree

and let nothing pass me by

never ever again

~rosie thomas, wedding day

Need a Laugh?

2009-04-06T19:03:00.001-05:00

Need a laugh today?

watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtX8nswnUKU

the Remedy

2009-04-05T16:20:00.005-05:00

Here we are

Bandaged and bruised

Awaiting a cure

Here we are

Here You are

Our beautiful King

Bringing relief

Here You are with us

He is the one

Who has saved us

He is the one

Who forgave us

He is the one who has come

And is coming again

He’s the remedy

Liminality?

2009-04-02T20:45:00.005-05:00

I think it's normal to feel in limbo sometimes. For me, I always get this feeling of being in limbo when I am on the brink of a huge change. [Graduating]

Tonight, my good friend Sarah introduced me to a word that describes just that...

Liminality

(from the Latin word līmen, meaning "a threshold")

is a psychological, neurological, or metaphysical subjective, conscious state of being on the "threshold" of or between two different existential planes

Interesting.

When Memories Fade...

2009-04-01T21:53:00.003-05:00

I hate when memories begin to fade. The memories you once were able to recall so vividly can start to get a little hazy. You are no longer able to recall all the smells, the sounds, the images in great detail like you once did.

I hate that.

Time creeps in...

and like a thief, slowly steals the memory from you.

However, maybe not completely. I'll find hope in that.

Einstein was a smart dude...

2009-03-26T13:07:00.008-05:00

"Jesus is too colossal for the pen of phrase mongers, however artful. No one can

dispose of Christianity with a bon mot."

~Albert Einstein

[*bon mot- a clever remark or witticism]

fake boyfriends...

2009-03-25T02:05:00.004-05:00

I will start this post off by saying...

Why do today what can be put off until tomorrow?

{I think the actual saying was

"Why do tomorrow what you can do today."}

Oh well.

My version is probably not the best one to live by. I know I should strive to be more productive these days, but since Spring Break, it's awfully hard to get any work done around here. All my friends agree. The truth is, I can think of one million more things I would rather be doing than schoolwork. Namely, spending time with my beautiful friends in our [last] semester of college.

That brings me to this post. I should be finishing a paper. However, it's more much more fun to blog about .... fake boyfriends.

Fake boyfriends? Yes. Never heard of a fake boyfriend? I'm not surprised. Now, the word 'fake' does not imply that he does not exist, or is fictitious. 'Fake' simply refers to the fact that he is not really your boyfriend. In essence, you two are really just friends with chemistry...and lots of it.

Ever had one? ...I did once, for a week. It was fun and silly and adventurous and non-committal. You are judging me right now :)

Get a fake boyfriend for one week. Do fun, silly, adventurous things with him. Tell me how it goes. I bet you'll have fun.

After all, fake boyfriends are much easier than real ones...right?

Let Your Light Shine

2009-03-22T12:59:00.003-05:00

The Calmer of the sea

Here in this room with me

So gently welcoming

The weakest things in me

You are the light over

The door of my heart

What pain You spared me from

How could I know it all?

Oh wonderful love, You died for me

The power of Your life is in me

Father, let Your light shine down on me

No matter what the day or night may bring

Father, let Your light shine down on me

Oh Jesus, You became what was my deepest shame

That at Your very name

My calloused heart would change

How could You, perfect One

Love me, when I have done nothing that's worthy of

My freedom You have won

-Bethany Dillon

SB2K9

2009-03-22T12:09:00.003-05:00

[Spring Break 2009]

7 best friends.
Early morning prayer on the balcony.
Yoga / Pilates.
The beach.
Laughter.
Dancing.
Sunsets.
Bocce ball.
Spontaneity.
6 unexpected friendships.
Basking in the sun.

For all these reasons and so many more, SB2K9 marks one of the best weeks I've ever had in America. Thus, making it all the more difficult to come back to school. I love Baylor. I love my life here. I am so immeasurably blessed. However, school = responsibility. School = reality.

Reality and responsibility are two things I don't care for too much, especially after spending a care-free week on the beach where I enjoyed/savored/embraced every precious moment with incredible people.

I miss SB2K9. But, a dear friend who was on this great adventure with me reminded me that we can't return to Narnia... even if we did, it wouldn't be the same. God gave us this precious time with each other, making beautiful memories we will always cherish. For that, we are so grateful. Now, we must look forward...expectantly and with great joy for all that lies ahead of us.

'The Bachelor'...or should I say 'The Jerk'?

2009-03-03T17:24:00.005-06:00

I am now embarrassed and ashamed to admit that I spent two precious hours of every Monday night watching this season of The Bachelor.

Please tell me others of you watched it as well. It might make me feel less foolish.

Well, if you did watch this season and better yet, if you watched the season finale...you can probably imagine just why I am so disgusted at the fact that I willingly gave up valuable time to watch this poor excuse of a man for a whole season.

Jason ends up breaking Melissa's heart and crushing her spirits, all on NATIONAL TELEVISION. Then, only minutes later, he is making-out with his ex, also on National TV. What's worse? I, yes...me, I was one of the sick 15.5 million people who watched every minute of it with unwavering attention. What is wrong with us, America?

Okay, I know these people willingly chose to be on reality TV. They even knew there was a huge chance their hearts could get crushed. I also willingly chose to watch this trash. But honestly, what kind of time are we living in when people want their 15 minutes of fame so badly and they have truly convinced themselves they will find their "soul mate" on a reality dating show? Whoa...

Well, here's to reality TV and the 21st century ;)

Twenty-Five Things...

2009-02-26T17:30:00.006-06:00

Twenty-Five things about me...
I'd really like it if you made a list of 25 things about yourself too, so I could read it and smile :)

1. I am a dreamer through and through. Sometimes I need people around me to remind me what is realistic.

2. My career aspiration until about age 15 was to be an actress.

3. I often run late, but I'm working on being more punctual.

4. I love all things International and want to travel the world.

5. I think kids are some of the most fascinating people on this earth. Sometimes I feel like I learn more from a five year old than I learn from people my own age.

6. I think I have good taste in music.

7. I am easily irritated by people who lack passion and ambition.

8. I am an ENFP. (Myers-Briggs Personality Test, look it up!)

9. There is something about speaking Swahili that is good for my soul.

10. If I don't get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, you can bet I won't be fully functioning. (I rarely get at least 8 hours of sleep, so I guess I'm rarely fully functioning.)

11. Change scares me, but it is what I desire most in almost all facets of life.

12. I have felt called to International Missions since about 9th grade and very few things in this life scare/excite me more.

13. I start many books and only finish a few.

14. I think in song lyrics.

15. I pretty much have a quote from The Office in my head at any given time and it causes me to laugh at inappropriate times throughout the day.

16. I studied abroad in Florence, Italy for four months. I made some of the most precious memories during my time in Europe and miss Firenze practically every day.

17. I love to write songs and play guitar, neither of which I am very good at or get to do as much as I would like. I have this secret dream to perform at a coffee shop someday. I'm going to make it happen.

18. I watch old movies (Breakfast at Tiffany's, Roman Holiday, Casablanca, etc.) often and always alone. I feel like watching these movies which are so dear to my heart is too intimate to share with others. Weird, I know.

19. If my kitchen is clean, I am a really happy person.

20. I enjoy Colorado and think it would be amazing to live there for a couple years of my life and be a rock-climbing instructor, though I definitely can't rock-climb. But it would be cool.

21. I like organization, but hate schedules.

22. If drinking coffee could be an Olympic sport, I'd take the gold for sure.

23. Being outside brings me joy. I try to like cold weather, but I can't really seem to enjoy it. Give me sunshine every day, please.

24. I am a verbal processor...to the max.

25. I have a love/hate relationship with text messages...with more emphasis on the "hate" aspect.

Glorious Day

2009-02-18T18:21:00.004-06:00

Do you ever just have one of those days?

No, I'm not talking about the days that make you want to quit, cry, curse, or eat an entire carton of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream.

I'm talking about the other kind of day. The day where you think to yourself, "Wow, I just don't think this day could get much better."

Yeah, those. I had one of those today!

When I really think about it, my day was nothing too special. Nothing devastatingly exciting happened to me today. I did not find a $20 bill on the street, or get proposed to on Baylor's campus (ha), or get an 'A' on my Economics test (yeah...that one definitely didn't happen).

I went to class, had a couple of meetings, met with some friends, drank coffee on my porch and journal-ed, laughed with my roommates...nothing too special, right? But, goodness, this day was great.

I was walking on campus on this beautiful, sunny day and the sunlight was shining through the gorgeous trees in the most magnificent way that it literally made me pause for just a moment to take it all in. I swung on my porch swing for the first time in a while and watched the sun drift away.

I breathed deeply today.

I laughed hard.

The little things got to me today in a powerful way.

I hope the little things get to you today, too.

You Can Just Call Me Ms. Professional

2009-01-29T18:59:00.002-06:00

So, I have this 9-5 internship...

and it is incredible.

Sometimes it reminds me of the movie the Devil Wears Prada.

Why?

Well, mostly because I think my life is a movie most days anyway. Anyone relate?

I walk to my office building, in my high heels, coffee in hand. I wait impatiently for the elevator and my heels click loudly across the tile. I enter our office, take a seat at my desk, and look at the piles of paperwork, articles, financial statements, etc. covered in a million sticky notes.

I actually think those are the only reasons my internship reminded me of the Devil Wears Prada. I mean, my supervisor is amazing...not an insane, superficial fashion editor. Also, this is no fashion show. You can bet your life I am not wearing Chanel, Michael Kors, or any other brand name to my internship.

I know I have been complaining about transitioning lately, because it is indeed difficult. However, after some adjustment, I am finding joy in the little things and celebrating this new some-what professional lifestyle. I only have to be professional two days a week. That is really nice. The other days I get to be a full-time college student. What an incredible blessing! I GET to go to school. I GET to be educated. I GET to have a wonderful internship in which I am learning so much. We are truly blessed.

More Than a Conqueror

2009-01-07T13:54:00.004-06:00

Have you ever felt defeated?

These past few days, I have felt incredibly defeated. Defeated because of circumstances, some of which I can control and some of which are far beyond my control. Nevertheless, defeat can paralyze you.

However, today I was reminded of the Truth.

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

~ Romans 8:37-39

How often I forget that I am more than a conqueror. In other words, I have overwhelming victory. I am not defeated, not struck down, and not destroyed.

If you're feeling defeated, remember you are more than a conqueror through Christ.

In Transition

2009-01-01T19:50:00.003-06:00

A new year...

(I realize I am a little late on welcoming the new year. Whoops. Perhaps I wasn't quite ready until now.)

For me, it means a fresh start, a new beginning, a new chapter of life with many transitions.

This will be my last Spring semester at Baylor. Wow. That is hard to type and even harder to swallow. Where did all the time go? Isn't that what everyone asks?

Change is hard. Change is scary. Shouldn't I embrace change? ... Yes. However, I believe that is easier said that done. For a few reasons, I have met this new year with some anxiety and some fear, rather than welcoming it with open arms. I guess that is normal.

I have been so blessed by this Christmas break at home. I have spent lazy days in my pajamas, making blueberry pancakes with my mom and watching movies. I have spent an incredible amount of quality time with my family and close friends. I have spent days relaxing in my favorite coffee shop, catching up on reading and meeting with some of my favorite people in the world. For all these reasons and more...it is hard to welcome something new, different, and unknown when I am already experiencing something so great.

Isn't that just like us humans? Sometimes, if I am truly honest with myself, I would rather stay in my comfortable shell than embark on an unknown journey.

Today, I am thankful for an adventurous soul. This adventurous soul prays for strength to meet the new year, with its inevitable highs and lows, the joy and the hardships.

So, here is to transition...

May we all transition well.

I Celebrate the Day

2008-12-09T13:10:00.002-06:00

...and with this Christmas wish is missed

the point I could convey.

If only I could find the words to say

to let You know how much You've touched my life,

because here is where You're finding me,

in the exact same place as New Year's eve.

And from a lack of my persistency, we're less than half as close as I wanted to be.

And the first time that You opened Your eyes

did You realize that You would be my Savior?

And the first breath that left Your lips-

did You know that it would change this world forever?

And so this Christmas I'll compare the things I felt in prior years

to what this midnight made so clear - that You have come to meet me here.

To look back and think that this baby would one day save me.

In the hope that what You did, that you were born so I might really live.

To look back and think that this baby would one day save me.

And I, I celebrate the day -

that You were born to die.

So I could one day pray for You to save my life.

All Work and No Play

2008-12-03T17:47:00.005-06:00

'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.'

I shutter to even think of the movie, The Shinning, from which this famous line comes from. [I loathe scary movies.]

But there is some truth here, right?

All work and no play makes [LAUREN] a dull [girl].

Or does it? Or does all work and no play make Lauren a disciplined and well- educated girl? Who knows...I can barely keep track these days.

I am excited to escape some work and enjoy some play with friends tomorrow at Christmas on 5th Street, a lovely Baylor tradition.

There will be hot chocolate, the lighting of the enormous tree, great music, and Christmas cheer, to be sure.

I am more than ready :)

Hometowns

2008-11-30T20:05:00.006-06:00

Did someone once say "You can never go home again" ?

Well, if they did, I beg to differ.

I did go home again, for Thanksgiving break to be exact.

I know everyone loves Thanksgiving. I mean, what is not to love about family, turkey, pie, football, and rest? It has glorious written all over it :)

I did love Thanksgiving break. When I say I loved it...I really mean that my heart soared with unexplainable joy when I got to hug my mom after three long months. Do I sound like a fourth grader who couldn't make it through day-camp? Ha. I don't care. My mom gives the best hugs in the whole entire world and man, oh man, did I miss those hugs!

My brother and I watched football. My sister and I went shopping. My mom and I baked. My dad and I took a long drive through our old neighborhood. I sang too loudly in the car with my girl friends to silly music with the windows rolled down, even though it was freezing outside. I sat in my favorite coffee shop, drinking my favorite chai, and reminisced with old friends.

I realized the quaint loveliness of my hometown over the break. What is it about a hometown that is so special? And isn't it funny how we all tend to talk badly about our hometowns when we move away? Well, my hometown is dusty, flat, and some might say boring. We're definitely lacking in the whole trees, lakes, and rolling hills kind of thing where I'm from. It's definitely not the most beautiful place I've ever seen.

But you know what, it's mine. My hometown. I like that. What do you like about your hometown?

Lord, thank You. Thank You for family, for friends, for West Texas sunsets and for always being able to return home.

It's a Love Story

2008-11-18T12:26:00.008-06:00

I love music.

Just like the rest of the planet, I presume. Music speaks to a part of my soul it seems no other art form has access to.

Lately I've been obsessed with a song called Love Story by Taylor Swift.

[photo]

I feel like a little girl when I listen to this song. It's about a fairytale romance, equipped with a prince, a princess, a castle...the whole nine yards. Perhaps that is why I love the song so much. I love feeling little again, because I am scared to grow up. But I think there is more to why I have listened to this song on repeat countless nights the past week.

[photo]

Watch this video :)
Romeo, save me.
I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you, but you never come.
Is this in my head?
I don't know what to think.
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring,
and said marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress. It's a love story. Baby, just say yes.

Bring on the Fall

2008-11-11T22:40:00.006-06:00

The time has finally come.

The weather has taken a turn. Leaves are changing colors and falling to the ground. Soon I will be eating turkey and pumpkin pie with my beautiful family.

Change is in the air. Can you feel it?

I can.

I need it.

I am usually not a fan of change. Then again, who is? However, I am ready for a little change. Some renewal. A change in the soul. Yes, change can be beautiful. We all need change.

Consumer-driven American and Corporate Starbucks Mania

2008-11-07T18:05:00.003-06:00

Did my title make you cringe with horror?

ha ha :)

Do not fear. This post will not be a crazy rant bashing America which we have all grown weary of, and with good reason.

However, I did need to share an interesting occurrence.

Today I stood in a line that was far too long, and paid far too much for a tiny cup of coffee I didn't even really want. I drank my cup of joe in a rush on my way to political science. As I hurried into the classroom and took my seat, I couldn't help but be frustrated with myself. I thought, "I just spent $5 on that stupid, mete ocher cup of coffee."

Who cares, right? It's just a cup of coffee that I willingly waited in line to buy. So why would I be upset about it? Funny you should ask...

I can't help that I happen to adore my grande, sugar-free vanilla, soy, decaf latte from Starbucks. But should I spend $5 on a cup of coffee that I don't even really want at the time just because my consumer-driven mindset tells me to spend every last dime in my wallet? No, I shouldn't. You know what I have learned (from my amazing parents who always teach me something even when I don't realize it)? You do not wake up one day and suddenly become financially responsible. It takes practice. It takes wise people who show you what that looks like. It takes budgeting and finding out what is important to you.

I'm making way too much out of one measly cup of coffee, aren't I? I guess those cups of coffee add up over time, though. It added up to $12.62 for me last week. Maybe $12.62 is no big deal to you. But when I think of a grandmother, whose name is Ruby, who is raising her four grandchildren and working two jobs -one cleaning bathrooms at Baylor University- $12.62 becomes a big deal to me... a huge deal.

Healing for the Flesh, Refreshment for the Bones

2008-10-29T12:25:00.003-05:00

Do you ever feel the need to be refreshed?

In this busy season of life, full of more tests, presentations, papers and projects than I would care to count - I am in desperate need of refreshment.

Not the kind of refreshment you look for from your favorite beverage on a hot day, or after a brisk run around the Bear Trail. I'm talking about the refreshment you need for your soul.

It feels like every fiber of my being has been calling out, better yet, screaming out for this refreshment.

Where can one find such a thing?

"Be not wise in your own eyes, Fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones." ~ Proverbs 3:7-8

Yesteryear

2008-10-28T21:32:00.002-05:00

I want to be little again.

I want my mom to make me peanut butter [no jelly] sandwiches with the crust cut off.

I want my dad to carry me on his shoulders.

I want to fight with my sister over who gets to sit in the front seat.

I want my brother to trick me into doing his chores.

I want to take family vacations.

I want to still believe in Santa Clause and fairy tales.

I don't want to pay bills, worry about graduating, or make 'grown-up' decisions. I want to avoid responsibility. Is that terrible?

The Heart's Affections

2008-10-28T10:23:00.014-05:00

Have you ever thought about all the things our hearts have an affection for?

Perhaps this is a topic too deep to discuss so early in the morning. Nonetheless, it is a topic I have been reminded of often these days.

'What are my heart's affections?' ... I wondered.

1. Coffee - don't laugh. I'm serious about this one. What is it exactly about the aroma of a cup of fresh brewed coffee that makes me think I am not ready to face the day until I savor its goodness? It beats me. It may have something to do with my [slight] addiction to caffeine. It may have something to do with routine.

Or could it be something more than that? I love getting my favorite mug out each morning and waiting impatiently for the coffee to be ready. Most of all, I like sitting on our porch swing with my cup of joe in hand. My heart has an affection for this.

2. Organization - I love when things are organized. From my room, to my school work...my heart has an affection for organization.

Perhaps organizing gives me a sense of calm, a sense of control, when life is often so hectic.

3. Creativity - Creativity, of all kinds, delights me. Not just my creativity, either. I love seeing others be creative. For instance, one of my best friends Sarah is incredibly creative with her art. It amazes me. I couldn't paint something to save my life, but her art is so effortless. Another dear friend, Mallory, is so creative musically. Brittany shows her creativity through her incredible photography. Sarah Miller is creative with Spanish. That girl is fluent, I tell ya, and her heart rejoices in Spanish.

What is it about creativity that captures my heart in such a profound way? I think it has something to do with God's astounding sense of creativity.

If I was Rob Bell, I would say :

"This is about that."
So, my affection for coffee probably isn't really about the coffee.
My affection for organization and creativity is probably not really about organization and creativity. Because this is always about that.

There's always something more behind what our heart has an affection for, I believe.

because writing a blog is so much better than writing a paper...

2008-10-27T20:25:00.019-05:00

I should be writing a paper, instead I'm posting my second blog of the day.

I want to walk down memory lane, because didn't someone once say 'You never know who you are until you know where you've been'?

Antibes, France.

Monte Carlo Casino, Monaco.

Paris, France.

Enjoying the beach in Barcelona.

The Colosseum, Rome.

My beautiful city, Florence, Italy.

Sunset in Sardinia, Italy.

Eating 'schneeballers' in Rothenburg, Germany.

Roomies in Cinque Terre, Italy.

I miss Europe. I miss the adventure.

But isn't every day an adventure?

Whether it be in Florence, Italy or Waco, Texas...life is beautiful and I am grateful.

'Celebrate we will, for life is short but sweet for certain.' ~ Dave Matthew's Band

Fear of Blogging

2008-10-27T13:17:00.002-05:00

I have this fear, an irrational one to be sure. It is the fear of blogging.

Why? I'm sure you're dying to know...

1. I'm afraid of the inevitable inconsistency of my blogging. (I was in Europe for four months and blogged a total of three times...pathetic.)

2. I'm afraid I will have nothing to say. Shocking, I know.

3. Mostly, I am afraid that if/when I do begin to blog, the real me will shine through. You know...the me that I don't want anyone else to see. Blogging is vulnerable, I believe. Vulnerability scares me. See? The real me is already beginning to shine through my blogging...

However, despite my [irrational] fears of blogging, I am diving into the blogging community...quite late. Besides, all my friends are doing it. :)

Excuse me, where's the Castle?!

2008-02-24T10:22:00.000-06:00

Okay folks, let's play catch up. I've been a terrible blogger since my journey here in Florence has began. However, I'm making some effort and trying to keep you all (all two, maybe three of you who read this) updated on my adventures so far. :)

So, I went to GERMANY two weekends ago with my roommate Katherine. I never thought I would have the opportunity to go there, but we found a cheap flight into Frankfurt from Florence. Now, when I saw cheap, I mean we flew roundtrip from Italy to Germany for 40 euros, or about $60. I love how easy it is to travel in Europe!

Katherine and I visited Frankfurt, Wurzburg and Rothenburg, Germany. Although Wurzburg and Rothenburg are fairly small towns, they might sound familiar to you if you've ever heard of the "Romantic Road" in Germany. This road, which actually stretches through several towns and several hundred miles, is famous for it's Castles and idyllic, small towns.

This is a view of Wurzburg, Germany, home to some of the nicest people you will ever meet.

When Katherine and I arrived in Wurzburg, we met an angel. Katherine and I had our huge tourist map out and we were looking for which bus to take when this little, old German woman came out of nowhere. She took the map from us and asked us where we needed to go. After we told her, she pointed out the correct bus to take and then she bought Katherine and I two bus tickets to our destination!! We were blown away. We pleaded with her to let us pay her back, but she refused. She simply said "have a beautiful time in Wurzburg" and then she was gone. We felt so blessed. God is good.

Needless to say, we loved Wurzburg! It is such a beautiful, quaint town. The people there are so welcoming, helpful, and kind.

This is a famous cathedral in Wurzburg.

The only negative comment I could make about my time in Germany was that I was freezing cold. I guess I'm just more of a warm weather kind of girl. Despite the cold, I am in love with Germany.

After climbing several hundred stairs in the freezing cold, Katherine and I were thrilled to see this famous Castle in Wurzburg! Built in the 13th century, this Castle was home to several generations of German nobility. The Castle was almost destroyed in the 1940's by a bombing during World War 2, but was rebuilt in the 1990's.

This is Rothenburg, Germany. No picture could really do this town justice. It is the most idyllic and peaceful town I have ever seen in my life. Imagine the mock German town they have in Disney World. It's way better than that!

A view down Rothenburg :)

These are called schneeballers. No really, they are called schneeballers. They are delicious! They are kind of like the German equivalent of gelato.

My time in Germany was delightful. I am so blessed to be seeing all these different parts of the world and experiencing so much beauty!

More to come...

I love and miss ya'll!

Pisa

2008-02-24T09:28:00.000-06:00

Here are a few photos from a day trip I took with some friends to Pisa, Italy ...

Pisa is a beautiful town. It's only about an hour train ride away from Florence. We had a wonderful time while we were there! Let me tell you something, though...it was so odd to me that I was actually standing next to this famous leaning tower. I couldn't really believe it. It was a great experience.

Finally...

2008-02-18T08:02:00.000-06:00

Finally.... After almost three weeks in Florence, I am finally writing a blog! Goodness...I didn't think it would take me this long.

So...Florence, Italy is simply an amazing place. It is absolutely beautiful here! I live on the Arno River, near the famous Ponte Vecchio Bridge in the Santa Maria Novella district. My apartment is very European and full of character. We don't usually have hot water and we line dry our clothes because we don't have a dryer. However, I really don't mind it. I'm learning to embrace these differences! :) I live with my good friend Katherine from Baylor, as well as one girl from the University of Alabama and another girl from Colorado State. I really enjoy my roommates! I think it's a great experience to live with girls I would never ordinarily have the opportunity to live with...it's teaching me a lot. Having Katherine here has also been a huge blessing for me. We are able to be there for each other if we're ever feeling homesick or want to talk about friends and familiar things back at Baylor.

I walk about 20 to 25 minutes to school each day from my apartment. This is becoming one of my favorite things. I stop by the same cafe each day on my way to school and have my cornetto (croissant) and my espresso shot (Italians love their morning espresso). I walk along the river each day, passing the Ponte Vecchio bridge and the famous Duomo cathedral. I literally pause at times, just to admire the beauty and remind myself how blessed I am to be here this semester.I am forming relationships with store owners at the cafe and restaurants I usually go to, and at the local market I shop at. I love that about Florence. This is a community and the Italian people here definitely view it as that. People here are very relational and intentional about their time with one another. For example, when someone says "Comestai?" (How are you?) -- they really want to know how you are doing. I think this is a foreign concept for most of us in America. "Hi, how are you?" in America is simply an everyday greeting. We don't usually care how someone really is. We just ask as a formality. It's not that way in Florence at all!

A few interesting things I've noticed about Florence so far...
1. The streets and sidewalks are very narrow here and sometimes you have to jump out of the way of cars, taxis, motorinos (mopeds), and intimidating Italian women.
2. Italians, and Europeans in general, love nutella (a hazelnut/chocolate spread). If you want peanut butter here, you can except to pay about 5.40 euro for a very small jar. This is about $7.20 in America!
3. Italians generally have pretty small refrigerators and so they usually go to the market every day.
4. Italian guys really do say things like "Ciao bella" when they pass you on the street. I thought people were just joking when they told me that.
5. Already mentioned this, but no dryers here for your clothes...it's all line dry.
6. People love their dogs here! You can bring your dog into just about any cafe, hotel, or restaurant...they actually encourage it.

Overall, I can not believe I am really here most of the time. I saw THE David (yes, Michelangelo’s most famous sculpture) at the Academia museum here in Florence about a week ago. I also went to the Uffizi museum here in Florence and saw paintings like "The Birth of Venus" by Boticelli, paintings by Leonardo da Vinci, Raphael, Donatello...I could on and on. I couldn't believe I was actually seeing these original works of art. It was a very surreal and incredible experience. I am taking a class here called Renaissance Art in Florence and I am so excited about this class because we are learning all about these famous artists and their work and then going on site to visit these galleries. I feel so honored to learn about these things and then see them in real life.

I have dealt with a little homesickness and culture shock the past few weeks I’ve been here, but it seems to get better each day. I find myself missing the little things like…
1. Being able to pick up the phone and call my family and friends anytime I want
2. Peanut butter
3. Hot water
4. Driving my car

Just those little conveniences and nuisances about America we can often take for granted.

However, I am just pushing through any sadness I might feel at times and embracing the very short time I have here. I know this time will fly by and I don’t want to miss a minute of how interesting and beautiful Italy is!

More to come…!

Much love,
Lauren

Katherine and I on the Ponte Vecchio

The Duomo Cathedral